John Proctor in the Crucible
John Proctor is a tormented person. He thinks his affair with Abigail irreparably damaged him in the eyes of God, his wife Elizabeth, and himself. True, Proctor did succumb to sin and dedicate adultery; however, he lacks the capacity to forgive himself. Unsurprisingly, his relationship with Elizabeth remains stretched throughout most of the play. He feels bitter Elizabeth due to the fact that she can not forgive him and trust him again, however he is guilty of the same thing.
In reality, his own inability to forgive himself merely intensifies his response to Elizabethan lack of forgiveness. In addition to having problem with the weight of his sin, the fact that he need to reveal his transgression tortures Proctor. His best ownership is his good name and the respect and stability connected with it. When he acknowledges his affair with Abigail, Proctor effectively brands himself an adulterer and loses his good name. He dreads exposing his sin because guilt and remorse already vehement him,
Proctor thinks a public display of his misbehavior just heightens the extent of his sin, consequently multiplying his guilt. Proctor’s choice to inform the court about his affair ironically shows his goodness. He voluntarily sacrifices his reputation in order to safeguard his spouse. Just through his public acknowledgment of the affair does Proctor restore his partner’s trust At the end of the play, Proctor declines to slander himself by enabling the court to nail his incorrect confession to the church door.
This action even more exhibits Proctor’s stability. Proctor knows that he will damn himself, yet once again, if he accepts admit. Although he wants to live, getting away death is unworthy basing the remainder of his life on a lie. This awareness, together with Elizabethan forgiveness, makes it possible for Proctor to forgive himself and lastly regain his reputation and self-regard. As the court officials lead him to the gallows, he finds peace for the very first time in the play.